Sea Monkeys (the product) are an upsetting sort of business. Seriously, c'mon... trying to pass off tiny brine shrimp as monkeys? Monkeys that live in the sea?! If the monkeys heard about this, they'd be angry. Really angry. We haven't told our monkeys yet - it might upset them, and then they'd stop working. Real monkeys wouldn't live in the sea unless they had amphibious nostrils and underwater weapons.

The Sea Monkey shot is a different story, however. Our monkeys were quite pleased with it, and it keeps them going for hours. Although it is difficult to layer the Goldschlager properly (make sure it's cold), the visual effect (and the taste) is quite interesting. Whoever named it was obviously thinking of the bitter disappointment they experienced as a child when they bought the commercialized idee fixe of some sadistic entrepreneur and it turned out to be a big sham - no giant, rampaging monkeys bent on love and destruction (as advertised), but simply tiny brine shrimp, swimming for 2 days before being flushed.

Of course, that's probably why they were drinking in the first place. So forget about all that, and if you haven't done so already, give your monkey a hug. He'll love you for it. Cheers!