Well, we have yet another hot and sunny weekend in which to bask in the goodness of summer. It's been pretty warm in our neck of the woods this year, so we've been thinking a lot about global warming. Through our long exhaustive hours of research, and possibly a quick google search or a posting on Fark, we've discovered that there is direct correlative evidence that links the increase in global temperature to the decrease of pirates over time. We were skeptical at first, but it turns out there's a graph (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:Pirateswarming.jpg), and you can't argue with that. Clearly what we need is a distinct increase in the number of pirates available to cool the planet with their swashbuckling temperature moderation properties and hearty carbon sinking action. We leave the remainder of the research and possible courses of action up to you, as we have to cut it short this week. We're running late for some beach volleyball with supermodels, and they're expecting us to bring the grog and eyepatches. We knew you'd understand.