When it's -75 hojillion degrees outside, mechanical things don't work right. Cars, trains, squirrels, you name it, it's just too cold. And the consequence of going outside with exposed skin is instant death. Clearly global warming, dimming, magnetic field flux and/or isostasy are responsible, but you could also blame Republicans. Or Democrats. It's somebody's fault anyway, and at any rate, your non-responsive method of transportation clearly has nothing to do with us or our huge weather moderator secretly hidden in caves deep under New Mexico. We could turn it on and send a little hot air your way, but there are six collections agencies and a huge guy named Alfonso after us for last month's power bill, so you just get this email instead. Also, since our car doesn't work, we can't get over there, and our squirrels just refuse to start, even with booster cables. So we're just gonna drink some stuff and hope for a warm front soon. Oh, and if you're from a collections agency, we've moved to Borneo.