When you get to work, sometimes you just know it's going to be a long day. This is, of course, assuming that you go to work, which if you're anything like our editors, may not be a valid assumption. But we digress. To illustrate our point, if you start your day with a meeting where someone puts up a slide that has a picture of the internet as some sort of cloud, with lightning bolts connecting it to things outside of the cloud, you're guaranteed a long day. Toss in a crazy guy on your commute and some buzzwords like "core syntactical value migration", and you'll know why our jobs involve drinking. Is there some sort of law that says when you get an MBA you have to use at least one fake or incomprehensible word per sentence, upped to three if you're in a meeting? If you don't understand the word "meeting", then you're one of them, and probably like to call it a "two-way open dialog".

To make our day better, we're going to have a two-way open cyber-dialog with you to provide some target-market beverage facilitation instruction. You're our favourite kind of demographic, which is either you're getting this email, or you're some kind of cyborg from the future that can synthesize and dispense candy at will. If you're the second one, we have a job opening for you. If you're the first one, then enjoy this drink before we have to start leveraging our market focus on you. Also... please, send help.